12 March 2016

A Bad Start of The Day 郁闷

Have you ever had a bad start of your day?

Like, sometimes there is something suddenly missing. Gone. Either it's a thing what you did, or things that you didn't do. And this bad start, is consuming your whole day. Like you can't really do good things the whole day. You're like losing it in every direction. You're as good as dead.

There are times when we feel down. And there are also times when we feel elevated. These feelings are sometimes uninvited. Sometimes we didn't ask for it, sometimes we never realized it existed. As the day passes by, we only wake up in the middle of I-don't-know-the-specific-word-to-describe-this-feeling. One thing for sure, it is not a good one. And when this moment hit me, I can't really meet people. I have the tendency to get super annoyed with people. Even the slightest things they do, it might make get angry. I know the problem is me. People say I have a naturally serious and angry face. I can't really help it. Sometimes my facial emotions are real.

Though some advised me to smile regularly, I can''t. I know that smiling is good. I tried everytime. But it's tiring. I have to force my facial muscles to move and carve a fake smile on my face.

I know these kind of situations are sometimes uncontrolled. Because we aren't really the one controlling our lives. Something more Divine does this for us. Because, actually we are only living in the palm of His hand. We have always been taught to ask from Him. Ask Him. Beg Him. But how can we ask when we are too busy with worldly distractions?

How can we bow to Him when we are so high up in the sky?

Finding true peace is difficult.